So I know that I sometimes hit prs and some people think I hit them all the time. Well I don’t. There are times I miss and I just don’t really put it out there for everyone to see. I also sometimes eat the right things and say the right things, etc. but other times I don’t. Sometimes I feel like I’m still a growing teenager. This whole weightlifting obsession taking over my life is really changing me. I’m no longer a rugby player, no longer a single girl, and I’m no longer a city dweller.

Life is so different now. I’m about to get married – not about to but in like 8 months I will. And that’s a stressor in its own right. But then work has moved and changed a ton lately so now work life is weird and different. Then on top of that I’ve discovered another “not a normal” sport after retiring from rugby and I absolutely love it. I’ve found some friends that I consider family, people who stop what they are doing to watch me take a heavy lift and cheer me on and for whom I’d do the same. It’s truly amazing how awesome some of my teammates are. And I’m genuinely proud of their prs and I get as excited for them as I do for myself.

And then me. We’ll last cycle was rough on me. I got a giant front squat pr which pretty much killed me the rest of the cycle bc I was always so tired. I squeezed out a kilo in the snatch but I didn’t make a c&j pr. It was hard to take because I knew I could do it I just couldn’t execute due to my constant tiredness. I had to change something this cycle.

So I got in touch with someone from my old gym who I knew was a great nutritionist and she’s helping me eat better. I’m also taking some supplements after talking to some fellow lifters and I’m starting to feel good. Honestly it’s amazing how good or bad food can make me feel. I’m finally starting to lose a little weight again and I think it can only help me. But I still have slip ups and I still sometimes miss attempts and get tired. But you know what. Last week I finally got my 81 kilo c&j for real. And today I made 82 and pressed out 84. I’m tired. I’ve not been sleeping but I finally feel like I’m on the verge of not sucking lately. Not looking for a pity party bc I appear to be having one for myself. But I’m proud of all my teammates’ prs today and I’m proud of myself. I wasn’t really feeling it today and I felt it in the snatch. I had a feeling I’d nail 82 though. My body likes little jumps. I’m not a huge risk taker. Anyway I appear to be getting better at lifting and at life so hey I’ll take it even if it’s just a little bit.